Maintain your life with God in 2015

Jude 1:20-21 - But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, ²¹ keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.  

As the time ticks closer to the end of 2014 and the beginning of a new year, 2015, I am excited to see what the Lord will do with the church this year. There is an old gospel song that says :

LORD WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING IN THIS SEASON
PLEASE DON'T DO IT WITHOUT ME
DON'T DO IT WITHOUT ME..

I don't want to be left out of what God has planned. We must do our part to upkeep the relationship with God and He will do His. I am praying for God to confirm to me what His plan and purpose for my life. I am trying to decide to stay on Face book or not. Next month I will be working a brand new contract at work and I am excited to see how the Lord will use me there. Are you excited of what the Lord has in store for you?

So how do we maintain the relationship with God? From what I have been taught it is by reading the word of God everyday, fellowship with your brethren, praying without ceasing and obeying God's commandments. God will do the rest. Reading the bible everyday will teach you about who you are in the body of Christ and you will learn what God's will is. Going to church or going to a bible study is a good thing. You come along like minded folks who worship God and you learn together about God. It is where you should learn about loving your brother and sister in Christ. Your church family. Go to church and look around. Those are the people you are going to spend eternity with. Praying is the way you communicate with God. In any relationship there must be communication between the two party's involved. Prayer is a lifestyle not an emergency exit. Don't turn Jesus into your very own glove box Jesus that you only pull out in case of an emergency. Seek the Lord's face everyday and you will find Him. Obeying God's commandments is an expression of love. Think of it this way. When a child obeys his or her parents, they do it because they love their parents and trust them. If you are struggling with this, ask the Lord for help. Dig deep into your bible. It also doesn't hurt to praise God through worship either. If you don't like to worship then heaven isn't for you because what do you we will be doing in eternity? We will be worshiping the Lord. He doesn't care about how you sound. He cares about the status of your heart and that will you be willing to worship Him. Remember, He is worthy of ALL praise. All of it.

Thank you all who have subscribed to my blog and follow it. Please bare with me if sometimes I seem to go off the deep end. There are times I feel beat up but soon after the Lord comes and picks me up. We cant stop. We must keep going so we can get to the end. The finish line is where Jesus is. Our exceedingly great reward and all the other benefits of following Him are at the finish line. By the way, if I do decide to take myself off of Face book, I will continue to write on this blog. I hope that someone will step up and share this blog with their friends and family.

One thing the Lord has taught me is that I should content with what I have. That I don't need to sell t-shirts, pay someone to post my blog on their Face book page to get more people to read the blog, and I don't need a huge audience. I also don't need to raise money because I am dong fine with the free stuff. The Lord entrusted me with a certain amount of people and I will be happy with that because as long as I stay faithful with the small things, I will be entrusted with more later.

I pray for all of you who follow me on Face book, Twitter, Google plus, Instagram and on this blog. I always pray that the truth is spoken because your salvation matters to me. I don't want to steer any of you away from God. But the total opposite. I want to point you and direct you to God. I love you all but Jesus loves you more. May God bless us all with strength to run our race, to have faith to persevere to the end and may we be found doing His will when He returns.

Happy New Year!!!

This Christmas I want love and forgivness

John 3:16  “For God so loved the world,that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

If you cant forgive someone even for the most horrible crime imaginable or the most petty mistake, if you wouldn't be able to do anything for somebody even if it meant your life or the last 5 bucks in your wallet, you don't know the love of Christ. Because that is the way Jesus loves us. He will forgive sin no matter how petty or serious the offense is. Jesus gave His life so that many could live. He would even give you His last 5 bucks just so you don't go hungry. I am not trying to discourage anybody. Be encouraged. Let His love be the goal that we want to meet. If you lack love, ask for it. Pray and ask for it. If you cant forgive somebody, ask the Lord to give you strength to forgive that person. You can not do this on your own in a righteous way with out Jesus because our righteousness is in Him only. Change your ways, ask to be forgiven of your sins and believe in Jesus. Today the Lord showed me how much I lack in love. But I know the standard and I strive and fight for it. I cant stop! There have been times when I feel like stopping and quitting. But the Lord gives me strength to keep going after my exceedingly great reward. The Lord corrects me. I don't like it but I know He does it because He loves me. I do like the results. Like a good father He spanks me and tells me how much He loves me. Thank God that He isn't dealing with my sin anymore. Now that I am new creation and all things are made new, He is dealing with my lack of patience, my lack of compassion, my idols that need to be brushed off. I am being purified like fine gold so that when Jesus looks at me, He sees Himself in me. This is love. This is grace. This is what is available to you. How do I know? Because it was made available to me and I accepted the gift. I never deserved the gift but Jesus paid the price to get me off death row. He took my place. That is love. With every crack of the whip, with every punch thrown at His face, ever inch the nails that were driven into His hands and feet, and every hour He spent on the cross, He did it because He loves sinners. He didn't come to save those who think they deserve heaven because of their self righteousness. He came for the hooker on the strip, the meth addict, the gang banger planning a drive by, the banker who is funneling money out of peoples bank accounts to his own, Jesus came for them. That is love. Thank God for Jesus! Thank you Lord that we can celebrate the real reason for the season. The day God came to the world to save the world because He loves sinners so they can become saints. Merry Christmas!!

Partiality and my tattoos

I meant to write this blog on Monday night. My best man of my wedding Kevin told me I should write on my blog as soon as it came to me. Well during and after my shower that night the Lord showed me somethings.

At church during bible study we are studying the book of Matthew. I also had just finished reading Matthew at work on my own. What stuck out was about showing partiality.  It had been a theme for like a week. I asked the Lord to help me not show partiality.  Oh boy did he ever.

We had family night at men's bible study and some of the guys brought their wives and friends. I got there late because I got off work when the event started. Before I sat down to eat I had this idea to say hello to every body before I ate. I did. Except one person. I didn't know them and to be quite frank, this person creeper me out. It felt odd when the thought went thru my mind. I finished my rounds and for some reason I stared at this person enough to get a good look at them. I was showering and praying God and all of a sudden I was remembering when I said Hi to everybody. I was feeling good about myself until I remembered the person I skipped. Conviction hit me so hard. I asked for forgiveness and repented. I couldn't believe I did that. 

When I got out I started thinking about my tattoos.  I don't know why. I don't like my tattoos and I wish I could get rid of them. But the Lord could still use them. I was going to explain what they started to mean to me and I got to a tattoo that I really am ashamed about. Earlier I had asked the Lord to turn any No for the Lord  to a Yes for the Lord. I began to write about and then I was bombarded with shame, embarrassment and what people would say. I stopped and I didn't post it. There was a no for the Lord. 

Why didn't I post it? Well when I came to my senses a little bit later, it was deleted.  I asked the Lord to help me to be more obedient. Yet I failed Him and denied Him like Peter, I know He still loves me. I am not rebelling against the Lord. It's sin in me that the Lord is taking out of me. My failure will be a lesson learned.

So let me tell you about my tattoos and I'll start with the most shameful one...get it over with. I have a tattoo on the right side of my neck of a old flame I had. Thought she was the one. I always said I would never do that. Never say never. Please, take it from me. I hate it. I do the best I can to hide it which I am probably not doing a good job of it. I won't get any more ink on my body. So I won't cover it up with another tat. The tat says Estrella ('star' in Spanish). The 5 pointed star represents the enemy. No not the ex. I pray the Lord forgives her and saves her.  There, call me stupid, a knucklehead,  a fool....whatever.  I know that I have the capacity to love a lot that for my beloved I would sacrifice myself. Back then was that woman, now it's Christ and my wife.

I have a tattoo on my left arm that is a barb wire band. It was my first tattoo. I got it on spring break 1997 in Mazatlan, Mexico. It represents bondage to me now. Well the bondage that the devil tried to have on me. In fact the guy who tattooed me was a warlock. He knew my full name and I didn't tell him it. That vacation was a bummer.

Then I have a mural on my right arm which is like 3 tattoos. The biggest one is an Aztec with a knife in one hand and a heart in the other. Raising his arms up to the 2 other tattoos. The one you see now is a cover up tattoo. It's a bald eagle attacking a serpent. The tat covered up is my old tagger name Mimik. It's covered up because it was a horrible tattoo.  It was done all wrong.

The enemy tried to tag my body up with his graffiti,  defacing the temple of God. Lord have mercy,  I didn't know. But I know now and I won't get anymore tattoos.  Last year I was with my buddy talking to these teenagers and one them said he had the number of the beast on his leg. I got to tell him to look at my arms and neck and told him that God would forgive him because He forgave me for my tattoos. See..the Lord took something meant for bad to something good and for his purpose.

I am not saying it is okay to get tattoos. If you have some already,  don't get anymore. If you don't have any, leave your canvas alone and be pure. Everybody nowadays has tattoos.  Be unique and stand out by not getting any ink.  Pray and ask the Lord to show you if you should get a tattoo. I asked and my answer was that I shouldn't mutilate my body anymore. Good enough for me.

Well now that all my business is out there now, I hope my friends and family don't judge me too harshly. Because the Lord will judge you the same way you judge others. God has plans for me and my tattoos. I hate them. But they can be used to win souls for the kingdom of heaven.

Some basic instructions before leaving Earth

I recall when I was considering starting this blog I asked some of my friends what my blog should be about. One of them told me I should write about how to live in these times. Over time that comment has become louder and louder in my head. So here I am, writing about what I have learned about how to live as a disciple of Jesus Christ. Abide in Him because with out Him you cannot do anything. He is the vine and we are the branches.

I want to say that I am not a pastor nor have I been to seminary. But every believer in Christ has been authorized by Jesus Himself to preach the gospel. Yes, anybody can pick up a bible preach the word of our Lord. But please, before you do that, STUDY YOUR BIBLE! In fact we are commanded to do so. Matthew 4:4 says "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" Doesn't matter what you read or where you start, its all truth and all His word. 2 Timothy 3:16 says "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work."

Yes, even you who just got saved. Some of the most powerful words I have ever heard have come from recent converts. They kind of remind me of a baby rattle snakes. When they bite, they don't know how to regulate their venom. But I believe that it is amazing to see a new believer speak such powerful words. It is quite impressive when a babe in the faith speaks up and speaks the truth. Its proof that the Lord is sovereign and can use anybody to tell the world about the good news of our savior Jesus Christ.

Luke 21:15 Jesus says "for I will give you a mouth and wisdom which all your adversaries will not be able to contradict or resist." We are commanded to tell everybody about the gospel. We are assured that the Lord will be with us and never leave us alone. Now I am not going to to tell you this and say I have this down. I don't. But the Lord is patient and He is working with me. In my weakness, He is strong.  I am sure that I am not the only one who perhaps is shy, unsure, and/or embarrassed to share the gospel. But the Lord has overcome the world and in the Lords timing, we will overcome this fear. Perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18). And without love, you cannot do anything (1 Corinthians 13:2). I realized a few months ago at the Arab American Festival in Phoenix that I didn't love people the way Christ loves people. Since then I have prayed that the Lord softens my heart more, to show me how He sees people, and to show me how to love all people. I am beginning to see that I am becoming more bold and courageous for the Lord.

A good friend and inspiration to me, Dakota Smith told me last summer after his trip to the Philippines that he asked the Lord to help him live carelessly for Jesus. To not care what people say, think or do when he spoke about Jesus. I remember before he went on this mission trip how he was and when he came back he was a totally different person. A man on fire for the Lord and I wanted what he had because I didn't have it. I was tired of being lukewarm. I wanted to follow him as he followed Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1). I don't want the Lord to spit me out because of my lukewarmness (Revelation 3:16).

Another great mentor of mine was my brother Mario Trujillo. I asked for a mentor in prayer and this is the brother the Lord chose for me to follow as he followed Jesus. I remember when I first got to know Mario. He gave his testimony at church and I felt a connection with him. We have spent time in prayer, bible study and out preaching in public. By listening and watching him, I learned what the Lord wants from me. If you don't have a mentor, someone who is more mature in their faith than you, ask for it in prayer. James 4:2 says "...You do not have because you do not ask God." As an added bonus, the Lord sent me my big brother Bo Horlen who had been a missionary for 30 years in the Philippines planting churches. I like talking to him because no matter what I have going on, he assures me that everything will be okay and is in the Lords control. I remember one time on the phone I told him that he must think it is silly the things I say, since they must seem child like to someone so mature in their faith. But Bo told me that it never gets old and he doesn't mind it at all. Then the Lord also sent me another brother by the name of Jeff Palen. I go to his bible class after the main service at church. I relate to Jeff because we both have worked installing cable. I did it in the Army and a bit for Cox Cable, he works for Cox Cable. He has a wonderful family. I like to hear him preach because he looks at everybody and when he looks at you, he makes eye contact. Just makes the message he is preaching much more personal and powerful. Him and his wife invited a couple times to their house and they were great hosts. So get around like minded people who will always point you up to the Lord.

So how does one love like Christ you might ask? Well first you have to realize that you personally cannot ever achieve this with out FIRST loving God with all you mind, body and soul. But even before that, you have to realize that the Lord first loved you (1John 4:19). Once you love Him, you can love others. In fact, those are the two greatest commandments our Lord gave us. Once you understand this, loving Jesus and people becomes easier.Matthew 22:37-40 says "Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” See when you love the Lord, you obey His commandments like a good child obeys their parents. When you love the Lord with everything you have, you want to know Him more. When you love you dont hate, you dont steal, you dont covet, you dont gossip, you dont slander, you dont lust , you dont murder, you dont lie and most importantly you dont worship other gods.

Dust off your bible and read it everyday. I'd like to share what I have done and maybe this might work for you too. I dont like to read so I started reading all the short books in the new testament. I am almost done reading the new testament and right now I am reading The Revelation of Jesus Christ. Its taken me about 4 months to do this. I will admit that I wasn't always faithful but the Lord is ALWAYS faithful. Or may I suggest to try doing the Proverbs challenge? Read one chapter of Proverbs everyday for 31 days. See if it doesn't change your life. I tried to read my bible from front to back. To be honest I got to about to Leviticus and I got bored. I was following this reading plan and obviously it wasn't for me. But the Lord knows me and He knows what I need. Lord willing, I will read the entire bible. 

As a follower of Jesus we must hate sin and anything evil.  Some may say, "Nick, its just this and that, its not that bad". You have already been deceived. Isaiah 5:20 says " Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter." Is the word of God not true? So what about this verse says its okay to lie to your kids about Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny? "But they aren't real Nick! Its just a little white lie." Lying has never been, nor will it ever be a good thing. 2 Corinthians 11:14 says "And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." I could go more into detail about evil things called good and visa versa, but I will be here all day. 1 Peter 1:16 says "for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." Holy means to dedicated or consecrated to God or a religious purpose; sacred. Romans 12:2 says "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."


MONEY. So many of us, me included, trust money and worship money more then we do God. Lord have mercy on us! Money is not a bad thing but it is the love of money that is the root of all evil . When you love money, you will do anything to get it. Even it means you screw some people over. People have died, families have been obliterated, people have lost their faith because of the love of money. You cannot serve two masters. You cant have one foot in with the Lord and have your other foot in the world. In my walk with the Lord, I have begun to not trust money. He is the reason I have a job. He is the reason I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my belly. Matthew 6:26 says "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" In 1 Timothy 6:10 it says "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." Let me tell you, trusting in the Lord with money is a release from bondage. Before I was saved and my bank account would get low or in the negative, I would freak out. Id start selling things and I would become restless until I got more money. This past summer I quit my job and I was out of work for about a month and a half. Praise the Lord my wife still had her job but it wasn't enough to make ends meet and I still was getting my money from my V.A. disability. Still wasn't enough. But I didn't stress and I just waited on the Lord. I kept myself in the bible and rested on His promises. The Lord supplied everything we needed and we had enough.


Over the course of my life, I have heard so many people complain about giving to their church. Or people wont donate money to ministries or lend to the poor. When you tithe or when you donate money or when you give to the poor, you are investing in the salvation of other people. It shows you have concern for your salvation and the salvation of others. I always have heard that people don't like to give to the church and such because "they just money". No. YOU love money and you don't want to give it to the Lord who is the reason you have money to begin with. Keep your money if you don't give it cheerfully to ministry. In 2 Corinthians 9:7 it says "Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." Proverbs 19:17 says "Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward them for what they have done." Build your treasures in heaven! Luke 12:34 says "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."  

I will touch on is a subject I shamefully know all too well. But thank the Lord that He has delivered me from sexual immorality. Porn, per-marital sex, bestiality, prostitution, sodomy, homosexuality and anything sexually perverted is a sin. I am not the one who says it, the LORD says so. Now before everybody goes and calls me a homophobic Christan, let me share my view of homosexuality. The bible calls it sin and so do I. But do I hate gays? Do I want them all dead? No, not ever. I hate their sin, but I don't hate the person. See, we all are born into sin. Any one of us could have been gay because it is a choice just like every other sin. Some will say "But I was born this way!" Yes, you are right, we are all born in sin. This is the reason we all need to be BORN AGAIN and then deny our fleshly desires. Before I was saved I was a womanizer. I was born straight and I chose to like women. I objectified them. The Lord delivered me from this sin and now I am born again. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." Me being a womanizer doesn't make me any better or any worse then somebody who is gay because in the eyes of the Lord we both need to repent and be born again. Sex is meant for marriage and sex before marriage is a sin. 1 Corinthians 7:9 says "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 

The last subject I will talk about is sobriety. Galatians 5:21 says "Envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God" and Proverbs 20:1 says "Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise" and Ephesians 5:18 says "And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit." The word doesn't say don't drink. It says to not get drunk. That is when drinking becomes a sin. We all know how much our own bodies can take before we feel tipsy. I will admit, I on occasion drink some wine or have a beer. But for the most part, I don't drink alcohol. Not because I think it will make me closer to God or because its some unwritten religious rule. I choose not to drink because one, I hate the feeling of getting drunk and the hangover afterwards. Second, I know it is a sin. I am weak and I will submit to the temptation to get drunk. But please, pray about it and do what is right for you. For me its drinking on occasion but for the most part staying away from alcohol. For some staying completely away from alcohol is what works for them and that is absolutely fine. Romans 14:1-4 says "Receive one who is weak in the faith, but not to disputes over doubtful things. For one believes he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables. Let not him who eats despise him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats; for God has received him. Who are you to judge another servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand."

I hope this helps somebody out. I know writing this blog in particular has been eye opening to me. It has shed light on how far I have come in this year and nine months since I surrendered my life to the Lord Jesus Christ. It has also exposed some sin that still needs dealing with and by His grace and my faith in the Lord, I will overcome the enemy. There are many more ways we should live and it is outlined in the bible. I encourage you to read your bible or listen to sermon or go to a bible teaching church and get educated biblically. Philippians 1:5-6 says "for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now,  being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ". Don't be like me because I am so anxious to be perfected. I really hate sin, but that is a good thing because before I got saved, I didn't mind sinning. But what reminds me to wait on the Lord because His timing is perfect. Its not a sprint, but a marathon. At the end of the marathon and we reach heaven and we stand in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ,we are all winners. 

FINAL NOTE: I mentioned a few people who have made an impact in my life but there so many more who have helped me out. Please, dont take offense if I did not mention you. It doesn't make your impact any lesser then the 4 gentlemen who I mentioned in this blog. I love you all the same.  

 





 

I wont complain this thanksgiving day

I believe that this gospel song is fitting for this Thanksgiving. Don't complain, but thank the Lord for everything He has done for you. He is worthy of all of our praise. God bless you and your families. But don't forget to keep in your prayers today our men and women in the armed services. Keep the homeless in your prayers. Pray for the sick. Pray for those followers in Christ who are suffering for the His names sake.

"I Won't Complain"
By Rev. Paul Jones

I've had some good days
I've had some hills to climb
I've had some weary days
And some sleepless nights

But when I look around
And I think things over
All of my good days
Outweigh my bad days
I won't complain

Sometimes the clouds are low
I can hardly see the road
I ask a question, Lord
Lord, why so much pain?
But he knows what's best for me
Although my weary eyes
They can't see
So I'll just say thank you Lord
I won't complain

The Lord
Has been so good to me
He's been good to me
More than this old world or you could ever be
He's been so good
To me

He dried all of my tears away
Turned my midnights into day
So I'll just say thank you Lord
I've been lied on
But thank you Lord
I've been talked about
But thank you Lord
I've been misunderstood
But thank you Lord
You might be sick
Body reeking with pain
But thank you Lord
The bills are due
Don't know where the money coming from
But thank you Lord
Thank you Lord
Thank you Lord...

ENFORCED SLOWDOWN - By Lee Walters

A special treat for you all. A gentleman I have gotten to know through my church has offered to share his writings on this blog. His name is Lee Walters. He is a retired US Air Force Chaplain. Keep us in your prayers. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Lee Walters.  

Have you ever looked out the window of an airplane at the ground passing under you?  Way down there are roads, cars, buildings, houses and, invisible to you at that height, people.  Have you ever wondered what you were missing?  I mean, you have to be missing a lot.  There are all kinds of things to see and do down there that you will never know anything about because you are soaring way overhead at hundreds of miles an hour.  Life is a lot like that.  We get terribly busy and we start to miss some important things as we fly through our daily routines.   

The 23^rd Psalm contains some of the most familiar, comforting and beautiful words in the Bible.

¹ The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. ² He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. ³ He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. ⁴ Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. ⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. ⁶ Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. 

In case there is any question about who the shepherd is, in John 10:11 Jesus said, I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.  Psalm 22-24 make up a triptych of psalms that belong together.  In Psalm 22 we see the cross of the Savior.  Jesus lays down His life for the sheep.  In Psalm 23 we see the shepherd’s crook as He leads us through this life, leading, guiding and conforming us into His image.  And in Psalm 24 we see the Sovereign King’s crown.  In Psalm 22 He dies; In Psalm 23 He is living and in Psalm 24 He is coming again to reign.   

The 23^rd Psalm is also informative.  The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul. This is my favorite picture of my relationship with the Lord: I love Him.  He is my shepherd and I am His sheep.  But, calling me a sheep is not the most complimentary thing that can be said about me.  A modern sheep rancher destroys the myth of sheep being nice, sweet, helpless little animals when he said, “These sheep are stubborn, hardheaded, and pig headed animals. Besides that, they are dirty and filthy.”  That is a picture of the human race.  I apparently need a lot of help from Him for my daily life because my chances of living my life pleasing to Him on my own are zero. 

Now there is an unusual ministry that the shepherd has in our lives.  I call it the ministry of enforced slowdown.  It says; He makes me lie down. It’s like I don’t have enough sense to slow down and smell the roses so I have to be forced to slow down at times.  And where does He force me to lie down?  Not in a bad place; it’s in green pastures.  And He makes you lie down to see some things I could never see when I’m running through or flying over.

Now, the Lord has many means of making us lie down or at least to get us to slow down.  I've experienced a few.  He's got medical brakes that He steps on to slow you down, financial brakes, family brakes; all situations that forces us to stop and give it attention; some circumstance which comes along that forces us to go slower.  Then there is the retirement brake and the old age brake which allows us to go slower from now on.   

When one of these situations hits our lives we tend to grumble and resist every step of the way.  But God has things for us to see that we're missing when we go through life at full throttle.  Maybe we have been missing the person we are married to, and God is saying, “Slow down! Rediscover the treasure I gave you in this person.”  Maybe we’ve been missing the daily drama of our child growing up right before your eyes; days we can never get back.  God is putting on the brakes so we can get to know our son or daughter.  Unfortunately, it seems that a crisis is what brings a family closer to each other.

Possibly you've been missing quality time with the Lord Himself, and God is saying, Be still and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:11)  Retirement has afforded me time to spend with the Lord like I never had before; to get to know Him more intimately.  It is hard to “be busy and know.”  We can be flying right past our Lord day after day.  In the confusion of a busy life our priorities got jumbled.  At the speed we've been traveling, we can't even see the faces of people.  In fact some of us are flying so high and so fast that we can’t even see people.  We can't hear what they're saying. We can't enjoy the journey because we are so obsessed with the destination.  So in His love, the Shepherd has declared a slowdown for me.  I have embraced it! 

If all of a sudden you can't fly like you're used to doing, don’t allow yourself to be frustrated or complain about your situation.  Embrace it!  Thank the Lord for making you lie down so you can see some green pastures that you've been flying right over.

Green pastures and still waters

Psalm 23:1-3   
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.

Psalm 51:14-17

Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,The God of my salvation,
And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness^. O Lord, open my lips,
And my mouth shall show forth Your praise. For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;
You do not delight in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart—These, O God, You will not despise.

Psalm 34:18:19

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.

Proverbs 13:20

He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.

I am so thankful for His teaching and for listening to me. The Lord taught me that I wasn't built upon Him, the rock of my salvation. When adversity came, I folded like an old wallet. On top of that, I added another weight to my load. I was trying to raise money to help the blog out by selling t shirts that advertised the website. When times got hard, I complained. I had forgotten what had worked in the past. What had worked in the past was thanking the Lord and praising Him.

I work at a call center where people call in to make reservations to go to their doctors appointments. Most of those people are seniors. I don't use my computer networking skills. In fact, for the most part, the job is easy. Where I struggle is when the call doesn't go as planned. When the person on the other end isn't "playing nice". I have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I am a disabled veteran. I am going to describe the best that I can what it feels like when I have an episode.

So needless to say, I don't deal with stress very well. To make matters worse is that when I am having an episode, I get a little louder, I feel frustrated, and I get a bad attitude. What also didn't help me was my management telling em to "tone it down" and to calm down. After the episode I feel guilt and shame. This time though,it laid very heavy on me. Like never before. I came home defeated and I wept. I never asked for this. I hate it. I hate what it does to me and I hate what it makes me do to other people. If putting up with me is bad, try being the one having to go through this horrible experience.

But the Lord was going to use this to build me up and make me stronger. Thank you Lord for being so faithful and true! He sent me reinforcements. I remember coming home and locking myself in the bathroom for a while. I wept and prayed. I had never felt this down after an episode. The Lord is the best listener because He let me come before Him and the throne of grace to cry, complain and tell Him how I felt. Now when I look back, I see how the Lord began to work. I came out of the bathroom and my wife listened to me. She didn't judge me, she listened to me. That's all I needed. Then when I was done, she hugged me, gave me a kiss and told me that everything would be alright. I didn't believe it then, but the Lord was going to make me a believer.

The Lord began to mobilize other believers to comfort me. Prayers began to go up on my behalf prayed by others who have faith in the Lord. I recall one brother made a video on YouTube and shared it with me on YouTube. I only know this person via Facebook. I saw him in person once after a worship session last month. His words were encouraging and made me think about what I was doing. I wasn't fighting back with the truth. I wasn't picking up my sword and my shield to protect me from the fiery darts of the enemy. I had put down my helmet and let the enemy wound me mentally. In his message he told me to praise the Lord. To pray in the spirit. I did that. I was on my last break and I put in my headphones and I listened to one of my favorite gospel songs "Touch me Lord Jesus" by Margret Allison. With tears in my eyes and my heart low, I praised the Lord. It was hard to do. I would be lying if I said it is easy.

The whole time I was down, I was not alone. The Lord was with me. He also brought in wise people around me to comfort me and speak the Truth into me.  After all that occurred, some of my friends have become brothers and sisters because they are born out of adversity. One brother that has always had my back showed me love and encouraged me. The one thing that stood out to me the most was this following quote "Thanks Nick for being who you are: a broken sinful man, redeemed by the grace of God, and not afraid to boast His name publicly! Love you man!" I had forgot whom I belonged to and the words the Lord used for him to tell me uplifted me. I looked in the mirror and I remembered that, yes, I am a broken and sinful man who has been redeemed by the grace of God. Even in my brokenness and in my failure my brother still loved me and my God still loves me too. More then I can comprehend and understand. 

Then came Sunday. At my church we had a thanksgiving pancake breakfast. I was still feeling all crummy inside. As I stood in line, it seemed like everybody wanted to get by and cutting right where I was standing. I felt like I was in the way. WHY ME?! Why do these people HAVE TO pass through right by me. I want to be left alone and enjoy these pancakes. Everything was getting on my nerves that morning. The pancakes were great and I sat with my family and a nice lady and her son whom is a friend to me and my family. After breakfast, those who stayed for the service, went to the worship center. It was an open mic to allow the congregation share what they were thankful for. Story after story, the pride, the ego, and the anger began to melt away. I had it so good and others who have it worse still manage to give thanks and worship God. Thank you Lord for humbling me. 

But there was still one sting that had not been tied up yet. My PTSD. After service was done, one of my sisters came to talk to me and my wife. She had spent 20 years in the US Army and was also diagnosed with PTSD. I didn't know that the Lord was about to use my sister. She encouraged me. Reassured me. She shared her story. There was something that stuck with me. A couple things actually. PTSD are just initials and the Lord has over the world. Including PTSD. This mental illness will be for my good and His glory. It is my cross to carry and my calling. She told em that she knows that the Lord is building me up and through my experiences I will be able to comfort people as well. She told me when I feel down to pick up my bible and read it. It didn't matter what I read because it is Gods word and it is all the truth. The truth will set you free. The Word is truth and with it we fight against the enemy. I was advised to pray more, to pray with my wife, to fast and to praise God more often. I was told to memorize a verse and use it when I am down. The last thing that stuck with me was, whenever anyone asks me "How are you doing?" I should reply "God is good." Because even when I am down and out, God is still good.

In regards to the t shirt sales for the blog, 4 were only sold. I bought those 4. The Lord knew my intentions and my heart, and perhaps it wasn't in line with His will. I believe He has something better in store for me and this blog. I prayed and I left it up to Him for the results. He did answer. It was a No. But that is okay because He knows what is best for me, what is best for this blog and what is best for the readers of this blog. We have to trust in His timing, His will and His wisdom. The bible says that we have to know everything or have everything figured out, it just says to trust Him.

I don't want anything else. He made me lay in green pastures by still waters. The Lord has restored my soul and He lead me back to the path of righteous for His sake. I have learned how to sing and praise the Lord. When I offered my broken and contrite heart to the Lord, He didn't despise it. The Lord was close to me when I was down and out. But He delivered me from my afflictions, all of them! The Lord surrounded me by wise people because He did not want to me to be lead into destruction. See! He is so faithful and true. In Revelation 19:11 it says "I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True..." The one on that white horse is the Lord Jesus Christ. Yes, HE is Faithful and True.

Go hard or dont go at all

Act 20:24 - But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

 Isaiah 40:28-31- Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary.His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

 "Just because I believe in God, just because I have faith in God, it doesn't mean that I'm immune. It doesn't mean that I'm immortal" - Ayrton Senna

Have you ever thought about quitting? I thought about quitting this past week. I wanted to quit going after my dream. I wanted to stop but God has other plans. Instead the Lord is showing me how He is powerful and He can use anybody He wishes for His purpose and for His glory. 

The other night I stayed up late and watched a documentary about formula race car legend Ayrton Senna. I had it on my Netflix playlist for a couple of months. I was bored so I finally watched it. I had put it off because I knew my wife wouldn't want to see the movie. So I had my chance and I was not prepared for what the Lord had in store.

See, Mr. Senna was a devout believer in our Lord. The Lord made way for this man. I could see God's handiwork in his life. The story was as if it came out of the bible. Even Senna's death had God written all over it. According to his sister Viviane, Senna had sought strength from the Bible on the morning of his death after the events of the race weekend: "On that final morning, he woke and opened his bible and read a text that he would receive the greatest gift of all, which was God himself." Later he died on the race track after hitting a concrete barrier at 145 miles per hour. After his death the FIA improved race track conditions, improved race car safety and for the time being, he has been the last death in F1 racing since Senna's death in 1994. One of the paramedics was interviewed and said that he himself was not religious but when Senna gave up his last breath, it was as if he could see his spirit leave his body. On the head stone of Ayrton Senna it reads "NOTHING CAN SEPARATE FROM THE LOVE OF GOD".  Amen to that.  I was in tears. God wasn't done though.

Sunday came and before the pastor read his sermon to us, one of the elders from the church got up on stage and talked about a member of our church who is very ill. The man was born with down syndrome. He was not expected to live past 12 years of age. But God had other plans. His name is Billy Ballard and he is now 53 years old. I had seen the man before around church. He is so kind. Always smiling.  I met his mother and she use to be a Sunday school teacher at the church I attend. She was very short and would talk about how the kids she use to teach are so much taller than her now. I would often see him walk his mom their vehicle and help her in. It is so wonderful to see that nowadays. Sad to say that it's a rare sight to see. It was a blessing to watch Billy love on people. Well Billy is sick and only the Lord knows if Billy will live longer here or the Lord will call him home with Him. But the elder shared stories how Billy didn't let his circumstances stop him from serving the Lord. I admire his servants heart and his love for the Lord. I am blown away how God could even use Billy Ballard's life to be a testimony of our Lord Jesus. In tears I thanked the Lord for what He showed me.

Whatever was left of pride and control I had was done away with. I was humbled because I was trying to do what only God can do. God could use a hot shot race car driver to make His name known and His agenda happen. A man who was young and healthy,  died young. But then on the other hand you have a man who was odds were against him but God strengthen him. God has plans for Billy and Billy's circumstances were not gong to stop God from using Him. The one who wasn't suppose to live very long, has lived half of a century. I believe that both of these men are equals. How? They both were used by God as a vessel. No matter how big or small the task, we are called to be faithful with what we have been given.I believe they both went after the Lord hard. 

I am very sure there many times in both of there life's they wanted to quit. But they didn't and found their strength in the Lord. I wanted to quit writing and sharing my faith online. I want to make this blog bigger, better and nicer. But it's not about what I want. I have been called to be faithful with what I have. No matter if the Lord would want to set a table in front of my enemies on a large scale or if it's writing on my blog and only a few people read it. Well it was worth it. If one person gets saved because of the writings in this blog, it was all worth it. I am guaranteed that Gods word will go out and not come back empty.  I do not labor in vain. 

I learned I have to go hard after Jesus or don't go at all. That is the bottom line. I know that I am not guaranteed an easy life and I will struggle. But I do not struggle alone because the Lord is always with me. Says so in the Bible and I believe that it is God's word. He is the one called faithful and true. He sure lives up to that and much more. I am learning to release more control to God and learning to trust Him. I have been told many times that I should be careful what I pray for because God might give it to me. Well, I asked to be more like Him and I believe my prayers are being answered. Yea I suffer and I fail but it will all be worth it when I come face to face with my Savior. Oh I long to hear Him tell me that I am good and faithful servant and that I can enter His joy.

The Lord wants somebody to know that you shouldn't give up. If you have fallen down, get back up. If you have sinned, repent and ask the Lord for forgiveness.  He is faithful and just to forgive the sins we confess to Him. Nothing can separate you from the love of God, expect sin. That is good news! I have failed so many times. But here I am, still going for it. God is still rooting for us when we fall. Get up and dust yourself off and keep going. All the struggles will be worth it at the end. God promised and all of Gods promises are YES and AMEN through His son. The finish line is in heaven and our exceedingly great reward awaits for us there and we will have Him always.

Go hard or don't go at all. Being called "hardcore" or being a "radical" believer in Jesus is suppose to be the norm. But we think that being that way is weird and uncomfortable. The bible says that the Lord will spit out the lukewarm because they are neither hot or cold. Go after Jesus or don't do it at all. If you go for Him it is guaranteed you will fail many times. You will fall. But God says GET UP AND KEEP GOING. All the struggles and pain will be worth it. His grace is sufficient.

Update: Billy Ballard went to be with the Lord on July 30,2016. 

Give them nothing! But take from them everything!

When your in the army of the Lord, you got action everyday. The battle goes on day and night. When the fight comes to you, you must be ready to fight! Fight with the sword of the spirit (the bible) and protect yourself with the shield of faith. Faith is having trust in Gods love, power, promises and timing. The helmet of salvation, the breast plate of righteous, the belt of truth and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. Ephesians 6:18 - And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Our fight is spiritual, not physical. To those who don't believe,they think we are crazy, But they are the ones who are foolish because they don't know the truth. Our job is to let everyone know the truth. Its up to the Lord and them if they will believe or not.

Born to shine

I use to want t fit in. But I never quite did. I was always one of the last or the last to get picked. When I tried to fit in, people would lash out at me in a very cruel way. I always wondered why. I would think that something was wrong with me. Did I try too hard? I figured it out. I had to get in on their level of sin in order to fit in and be accepted. It wasn't til I became more "normal" that I I was accepted. But I was born to shine! I was born to stand out. I was born to be unique and one of a kind. Not to blend in. Its like that kid at school who tries to hard to be cool and forces himself into the "in" crowd. Just to be noticed and loved. I had few friends. I spent a lot of time alone in my thoughts and alone in my suffering. I was trying to be somebody I wasn't. I was trying too hard to be something I wasn't meant to be. I was destined for more. Take your power, your money, your fancy foods and all your luxuries and pleasures. Take them away from me! I don't belong here and I am just passing by because my home is with my Heavenly Father in the sky.

"Yes" and "Amen"

2 Corinthians 1:20 - "For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God."

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Philippians 4:19 - And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Romans 10:9 - If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

All of God's promises are YES and AMEN through Jesus Christ. In 2 Corinthians 1:20 Paul is speaking to the church in Corinth. This is a promise that all of God's promises and yes and amen. So should our yes be yes and our amen should be amen. We are called to be like Christ, not like other Christians. We dont have to swear an oath. Our word should be good enough, just like God's word is good enough.

You can trust an unknown future to a know God. You can ask any real believer in Jesus Christ if is He is faithful and true and they will reply with a Yes and a testimony. People think we are crazy because they have no faith. I use to be that kind of person. But Jesus has shown me over and over and over and over and over that He is trust worthy.

When I came back to Jesus, I will never forget this, I prayed that He would take me back..and Erin and my kids too. I didn't want to loose them in this life and in the next life too.I am now married to an equally yoked blood washed wife. It cost me a lot to be Erin's husband, but she is worth it. My wife was also worth the price of the blood of the lamb. My kids aren't saved yet but I see the Lord working in them. I see Him drawing them to Himself. Lord willing, they will also be worth the blood of the lamb.

WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE YET!? If His promises are true and He is faithful, then that means hell and the enemy are real. Eternal suffering and separation from God's goodness forever. But that means if you ask for forgiveness of your sins and get baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit you will be forgiven and given eternal life.

Without any hesitation I boldly say YES that He has come through for me so many times. One billion times plus infinity YES! If you believe you can see Him working in the background. Not literally "see" Him, but you recognize that it was something only God could have made happen. Nothing is be coincidence when it comes to Jesus. He planned this out a long time ago. The bible says that He knew us before we were born.

When I have had those kinds of moments, I dont know how to react because I am over loaded with all kinds of emotions. My eyes are watering, my throat is all chocked up, snot starts coming out of my nose, I feel this need deep inside me and its being satisfied at the same time. But we must walk by faith, not by sight or feeling. Sometimes I dont feel anything but I still thank Him. Me feeling something and not feeling something when I recognize His handy work, doesn't mean it I shouldn't thank Him and praise Him for it. Life is hard. Its even harder without Jesus.

I say all of these things in confidence because after reading my bible and being taught by my sheep dogs (pastors, teachers, brothers) about all of Gods wonderful promises. In the words of Uncle Si, "You can take that to the bank Jack!" I do my part, Jesus handles the rest. When I do my part, God's promises are YES and AMEN because of Jesus. Glory Hallelujah!

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This one is for the backsliders

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!  I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’  So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
  “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.  For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. Luke 15:17-24

The backslider in heart will be filled with his own ways,
But a good man will be satisfied from above. - Proverbs 14:14

"When the prodigal son returned, what did he find his father to be like?
Irrespective of how the prodigal treated his father, and how the neighbors pitied him and said, “Oh, isn’t that a terrible way that boy treated his poor old father,” the father had not changed. His father was humiliated, shamed, grieved and heartbroken, but when the boy came back, he had not changed at all.
Jesus is saying to us, “You went away in Adam, but you are coming back in Christ. When you come back, you will find the Father has not changed. He is the same Father He was when you all went out—every man to his own way.” When we come back in Jesus Christ, we will find Him exactly the same as we left Him—unchanged.
That is the story of the prodigal son. The father ran, threw his arms around him, welcomed him, put a robe on him, a ring on his finger and said, “This is my son which was dead, and he is alive again.” This is the grace of God worth believing in.
Dear Father of all prodigals, of all generations, how thankful I am that the invitation to come home reached me just in time. How I praise Thee for the love Thou hast shown me, and others like me! I praise the name of Jesus. Amen" - A.W. Tozer

A backslider is a saved person who falls into sin. A lost sinner cannot be a backslider. You have to go somewhere before you can slide back. But one who is truly born again, a child of God who falls into sin, is a backslider. It may be outrageous and gross sin known to everyone, or it may be merely coldness of heart, a lukewarmness of heart instead of the burning fire of love for God. But when a Christian loses any of his joy, or loses part of his sweet fellowship with God, or falls into sin, then he is a backslider. Remember that only Christians can backslide.- Dr. John R. Rice


 I backslid away from God many years ago when I was a young teenager. When I was about 12 I gave my life to Christ. But my faith was choked out by peer pressure, shame, and I felt forced to go to church. I thought living a Godly life was too hard and committing sin was easier. So I walked away from God. 

When I joined the US Army in the summer of 1997 right after high school, I would tell myself that if I ever went to war, I would turn back to God. I may have gone to church willingly less than 10 times in the 11 years I served in the military. I was stationed in South Korea twice in my career and I was deployed to Iraq twice. Please, hold your applause because even my righteous acts are dirty rags in comparison to what Jesus did for all of us. 

So I was put in war zones 4 times in my career and I never turned my life over to Christ. If I would have died, I would have been eternally separated from God and spent it in hell. When I was in the army, I was very reckless. I was border line suicidal. I had no self control, I liked driving fast and I liked fast girls. I remember the last time I was in Iraq I wanted to end my life. My life was a mess. I was thousands of miles away from home, and I was very lonely. I thought I had a loving girlfriend waiting for me back home, but she didn't love me. I was crushed. I was issued a M249 automatic machine gun and we carried live ammo all the time, even on base. We were always armed. I was sitting on my bed one night alone and I loaded the machine gun and I turned it towards my head and I had my thumb on the trigger. But I found out something. I was a coward because it takes courage to take your own life. This is just one example of my stupidity. 

I got out of the service and I moved to Phoenix and I moved in with my new girlfriend, Erin. That was around August of 2006 when I left active duty. I thought I was going to start a brand new life with out the army. Well I did but it was not how I thought it would be. For the next 7 years I lived in a self made hell. Whats even worse was that I dragged my make shift family along with me in my sorrow. 

I recall one night I was up very late at night, alone. I was finally tired of being up late and searching for porn. I gave up my search because I had seen so much of it, nothing else excited me. Plus I was smoking this stuff called "spice". It is imitation/legal weed. The package even said it was bad to smoke. I got really high and instead of heading to bed, I sat down on my recliner. Then I started to feel tugging at my ankles and my hands. No one was there. Plus I felt like I was being pulled from the inside. I was being pulled towards to the computer. I was scared because I had never felt this before and I was very scared. I felt like something was covering my mouth because I tried to call for help but I couldn't say anything. I was on my recliner begin restrained I called out to Jesus. I kept calling out and I stopped feeling the tugging. Did I turn my life over? No. But after that, Jesus started to draw me back to Him. I began to see Jesus draw me back to Him. I realize it now, but back then I didn't know it.

In 2013 I finally gave my life to Christ. I didn't feel worthy. I had sinned so much. I made my life a mess. But my salvation didn't count on my performance and it still doesn't. There isn't enough donations, tithes, homeless people I could feed and acts of kindness I can do that will grant me salvation. Jesus is the only name given unto man to receive forgiveness from their sins and salvation from God's wrath. 

When I came back to Jesus, I felt a love like I had not felt ever. I was starving for Jesus and I was so desperate to be saved. I realized I was a sinner and I started to see the signs of the times. Things I had read about as a kid about the end times started to come about. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and I was terrified of the Lord. Plus the things that were going on in my life made me turn to Jesus. My point to all of this is, Jesus had every reason to forget about me. He could have let me go in my sin and let me die and I would have gone to hell. The end. 

BUT..in His goodness, because Jesus is full of grace and mercy, He drew me back to Him. I was like the prodigal son. Every time I read the parable I weep. God was talking about me and all the backsliders out there. I deserved death but Jesus gave me life and paid my ransom. The offer was still on the table and still valid. I was no fool, I took it. 

Now it is Him who lives through me. I am no longer a sinner because I am a blood washed believer in Jesus Christ. I have been justified and I am being sanctified. I have been brought back to life for the glory of God. Me, the weak one, the sinner, the womanizer, the show off..ME. Thank God I am not that man anymore. The old me is dead and He officially died when I was baptized on Cinco de Mayo 2013. Heaven isn't full of people who lived holy lives. Its full of sinners who were pardoned for their sins and were made holy by the one who is the most Holy. 


"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Foot steps in the sand

1 Corinthians 15:58 - Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Today at work I heard one of the top 10 nicest things I have ever been told. I needed to hear it. I will be honest, today kicked my butt. In a bad way. I was talking to a lady in Los Angeles. She was very nice and talkative. It was a Spanish call. I took her reservation for her trip to her doctors appointment. She talked to me about her ailments, her experiences with the cabs she has rode in while using our service. She was very appreciate it. It was about a 20 minute call. Which is very long time in call center time. Then she said just as we were ending the call, " I have to tell you something. There is a God who will repay for what you are doing right now." When I heard that I got chocked up. I could tears instantly welt up. My voice cracked a bit as I tried to reply. 

Later I needed a little time to regain my composure. I called my wife and talked to her for a little bit. Then I prayed. I had hit rock bottom. I was desperate for Jesus. I asked that He loved me, that would He help me get through the rest of the day. He did just that. Its like I became a machine and started pumping out calls, getting people home, taking reservations, sending out faxes. It was great to see Jesus pick me up. It kind of reminds me of the famous poem/song "Footsteps in the Sand". Takes me back when I was a kid when I was about 12. I had been going to a bible study at the martial arts school I was going to. Every last Friday of the month. We would have a potluck after wards. But I remember that "Footsteps in the Sand" song. One of the instructors fiance would sing it and she had such a nice voice. I remember also would always have a smile when he heard that woman sing that song. See, He even gave me a fond memory to help keep me going. Jesus is GREAT!!

I just want to tell you that you don't have to do life on your own. Jesus wants to help. You know, I wouldn't be talking all this "Christina talk" if it wasn't for real. Like many, I back slid away from the Lord when I became a teen. I spent most of my 20's and the beginning of my 30s with out Christ. But the Lord drew me back to Him. Some of you might say that I should have stayed with Jesus. But that wasn't the way He had planned it. I encourage you to run back to Christ. He will accept you. Also, don't be discouraged for your labors. If you dedicate them to the Lord, He will reward you in the next life. Anything we suffer in this life, does not compare to the glory of God the father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, the Angels, and Heaven. I hope this is encouraging to someone. 

By the way, its the night before battle (Ephesians 6:12). This weekend is the Arab American Festival in downtown Phoenix at Indian Steele Park. Me and some people from other various churches will be attending to reach out the Arab and Muslim community. Preach the gospel and show them the love of Christ. We will also have a photo booth. Please pray that the Lord's will would be done and that the Holy Spirit would come upon us with power. Please pray that the Spirit would speak through us and give us the words that need to be said. Pray for us that we would represent and shine the light of Christ to these people. Thank you and God bless. 

An email from the past me

James 1:1-27 - James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion: Greetings. Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Ephesians 4:14-15 - So that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,

 1 Corinthians 13:11 - When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

1 Corinthians 14:20 - Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.

I am so busy and distracted that I forget to check my email. I checked my email today and I got a very unique email. Last year I found a website http://ohlife.com/timecapsule and I wrote myself an email. The past me wasn't always good for my future self. I remember that I wanted to be good to my future self for once. I wrote this email on October 10, 2013. Check it out.

Dear Me (in the future), Its October 10, 2013, 830pm. A year has passed and think about how your life has changed in this year. Think about all your blessings. Think about all that God has done for you in this year. Praise the Lord if your still alive and reading this. Because he still loves you and His favor is on your life. I hope in this year you have gotten over your foolish fear about talking to people about the Gospel. If you haven't, you have let way too much time pass. Get over it! If you have, if there was a way I could be happy about that right now, I would be happy if you overcame that fear. Tell Jocelyn and Santino you love them and give them a big kiss. I hope you and Erin have gotten married by now or figured out where your relationship is headed. Keep praying. Keep in touch with Christ. Love, Past Me (Nick)

I had completely forgot I wrote this email. But I am glad I did. My life has changed a lot since then. I am married to Erin now. We get along better. We aren't perfect but we are a lot better at forgiving each other now. I dont work doing technical support. I serve sick people and I like doing that. I understand more of what God is trying to tell us in scripture. By the way, if anyone of my readers want to give me a gift, save your money. Because I would much rather you pray for me and ask the Lord to give me more wisdom, knowledge, understanding and discernment. Wisdom is so valuable. This past summer I read through Proverbs while I was out of work. That was a blessing. 

I also was involved with vacation bible school at my church this past June. Last winter, I was invited to take part in the Angel Tree Prison Fellowship program. We got to deliver presents to children on behalf of their parents who are currently in jail. A few weeks after I wrote that email, I helped my brother come to the Lord. I love it when my brother tells me how the Lord is using him and teaching him. I like to encourage him like I had been encouraged by my brothers at church. 

Erin, my wife, got baptized in February and I got to be the one who baptized her. What an honor! Me and Erin dedicated our children Jocelyn and Santino to the Lord. These are just some highlights from this past year. I am not bragging and saying "Look at home good of a Christian I am!!" No no no. Look at how good MY GOD is. He has been faithful to me and kept his promises. He took this broken man, this broken family and has begun to make it something beautiful and serviceable. To serve His glory. 

I really hope what I share encourages somebody to seek Jesus. To not settle to be a lukewarm believer. But to really go after Jesus hard. Share your faith. When times get hard, its time to draw closer to God. Run the race that He has placed out for you so at the end, you can have your great and exceedingly great reward and live for eternity with Jesus. All of our problems are temporary, Jesus is eternal and He has already overcome the world. I read the end of the bible and it says that Jesus wins and the devil and death are destroyed forever. 

Anyways, This email was a reminder to myself. To be happy I am alive and to be glad I was able to read that email one year later. That in that one year, Jesus has been molding me and working on me. Believe in Jesus. Read your bible (or listen to a sermon on podcast or you tube), and pray constantly.  Don't just settle for Sunday service and go the rest of the week with out reading your bible or praying. You are starving your spirit. Just some suggestions. These are things that have helped me out a lot. 

CHALLENGE
Write yourself an email and make it so your receive it in a year. Ask yourself how God has blessed you and remember how much your life has changed.