A quick note

Hi! A quick note because I am going to go attempt to fix my mother in laws computer. Dang hackers! Anyways, I learned somethings this morning. I went for a walk real early in the morning and I prayed the whole time. When I started, I was just whining and complaining about the problems in my life. Then I remembered what I had learned at church. Instead telling God my big problems, I told my problems how big my God is. I had never done that before and let me tell you it felt great! My problems seemed smaller and I had peace. I remembered that in the end, God wins. All my problems, my sicknesses, my money problems and all this negativity I am surrounded by will not last forever. They will have their end but my God goes on forever. Jesus has already won. Jesus beat the enemy and defeated death!

I hope someone is encouraged by this. I know I was.

If grace was an ocean..

Today I went to a job interview. SPOILER ALERT, I got hired. Praise the Lord! So I have been out of work for just over a month. God made me very uncomfortable at my last job and I had to quit. He took me into what we like to call "The Wilderness". We hung around the outskirts though. HA! What I needed was time with the Lord again. Time to read up on my bible, pray a whole lot, and learn more about Him. I missed having time alone with God. In this month I learned so much about myself and how much God values His saints.

What I learned about myself is that I fall short of the glory of God everyday. But I learn from my mistakes. I learned that I must keep focus on my exceedingly great reward (Jesus) if I want to finish the race. I learned I am not a perfect husband but I am good at many things. I give my wife good massages when she is aching after a long day at work. I am getting better at forgiving her quicker and to pray for my wife and thank God for her even when she makes me mad. Things like that. I could do better at washing the dishes though. Since I am imperfect, and I have accepted Christ as my Lord and savior, I can ask for forgiveness for sins, in my weaknesses I can ask for help, and when I don't understand something, I am granted wisdom. Grace, how sweet it is. If grace is an ocean, we are ALL sinking.

Speaking of grace, I didn't think I would get the job. The lady who interviewed me mispronounced my name and i asked her to see if they misspelled it. It does happen. But she took it as I was getting an attitude and she let me know right away of that. Yes I was a bit nervous. I stumbled on some questions. But as the interview went on, I began to have peace and I gained confidence. By the end of the interview, it seemed like my over reaction from the beginning of the interview was long forgotten. When God delights in His child, He makes His enemies make peace with him. I think a little of that happened haha. 

I am not boasting about myself. Lets get that clear. Without Christ I am nothing like this. What is happening inside of me is manifesting itself on the outside. I am witnessing that God is real, repent and turn your life over and experience God's love and forgiveness. Even when things look bad or times are hard, God doesn't leave you. When He feels far away, it wasn't Him who pulled away. It is us who move further from Him because we begin to believe the doubts, the lies, and the discouragement.

As special THANK YOU to everybody who prayed for me.

God loves those he corrects.

Today God exposed a deep and dark sin that I had tucked away deep in my memory banks. I am reminded of two verses. Proverbs 3:12 - "For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights." Also Luke 7:23 -"And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me." 

Recently I was talking to a very close friend who the Lord sent me as a mentor. I was telling him about how the Lord had been exposing this sin. The purification process, also known as the maturing process. Now this guy is one of the most hot for the Lord I know personally. Even Him, the Lord has exposed deep sin. I recall that he said he prayed to God and asked " Really Lord? This was still in me?!" I had my "Really?" moment today. 

Ill do my best to make the story short but its the spirit that is motivating me to write this. 

I had posted on Facebook my Skype screen name. SaintNickeleye. My first name is Niccolai, but it sounds like Nickel Eye when you pronounce it correctly. For years I have had to deal with people mispronouncing my name. Teasing me for it. People thinking I am Russian and then badly imitating a Russian accent to rub it in. Needless to say, this is a very touchy subject for me. I was not even teased and I blew up. Anyways, someone made a comment that I should be careful because my screen name sounds very similar to the name Nicolae from a book called "Left Behind". I have never heard of this book and I never knew it existed until today. The person said that it was the name of the devil in this book. 

I didn't know how to feel. Memories from elementary school and through out my life just started playing in my mind. All the shame, the pain, the tears, the ridiculing all came back at that time. I wanted to rebuke this person biblically, but I really couldn't find a way. So I gave into sin. I even unfriended them on Facebook over it. What a shame. Shame on me. 

I sent this person a private message and I let them have it. I told them I didn't like their comment and that I was in any shape or form involved with the devil. After a short while I thought of my mentor and what he said. Then I realized that the Lord may be trying to expose something in me that needs to be flushed out so I can be pure. At that same moment the person I messaged told me I should pray because this could be trying to show me something about myself. Coincidence? I think not.  

I logged off after I said sorry to the person who helped expose this deep dark sin. I recall months back praying to God to shine light on any sin in me. Prayer answered.  Speaking of prayer, I went to my secret place and I prayed. I prayed for forgiveness for loosing my temper. I thanks Him for exposing this sin. I asked for help with this. Then I realized that it didn't take very much for me to stumble. Then I recalled 2 Corinthians 12:9 - "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." I acknowledged that I am weak and asked for God's power to be made perfect, being used by God as a vessel. I needed healing and God is the only one who knows how to fix me. He made me! 

I hope and pray that this story I shared is a blessing to somebody. I felt compelled to share this. I thought it was amazing because everything happened just like it says in the bible. I know there are people who are my friends on Facebook, or follow me on twitter or subscribe to my blog that need some sort of proof that this is real. I will tell you, yes it is real. Its the realest thing there is. I use to doubt God. In some ways, I still do. But slowly but surely, God is showing me just how real He is. 

God corrected and is healing me. I am being healed of this deep pain that I buried many years ago. Whenever it tried to come back, I would just bury it deeper and deeper. No more burying for me. I am going to be healed so this doesn't hurt me ever again. I was corrected because I got defensive and I lost my temper. I should've not listened to my flesh. My flesh cried for justice. What should've happened was that I should have shown mercy because this person didn't know my actual first name is Niccolai and what the meaning of my Skype screen name is. Sounds so foolish and childish to me now.

By the way, I added that person back to my friends list on Facebook.