Born to shine

I use to want t fit in. But I never quite did. I was always one of the last or the last to get picked. When I tried to fit in, people would lash out at me in a very cruel way. I always wondered why. I would think that something was wrong with me. Did I try too hard? I figured it out. I had to get in on their level of sin in order to fit in and be accepted. It wasn't til I became more "normal" that I I was accepted. But I was born to shine! I was born to stand out. I was born to be unique and one of a kind. Not to blend in. Its like that kid at school who tries to hard to be cool and forces himself into the "in" crowd. Just to be noticed and loved. I had few friends. I spent a lot of time alone in my thoughts and alone in my suffering. I was trying to be somebody I wasn't. I was trying too hard to be something I wasn't meant to be. I was destined for more. Take your power, your money, your fancy foods and all your luxuries and pleasures. Take them away from me! I don't belong here and I am just passing by because my home is with my Heavenly Father in the sky.

"Yes" and "Amen"

2 Corinthians 1:20 - "For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God."

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Philippians 4:19 - And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Romans 10:9 - If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

All of God's promises are YES and AMEN through Jesus Christ. In 2 Corinthians 1:20 Paul is speaking to the church in Corinth. This is a promise that all of God's promises and yes and amen. So should our yes be yes and our amen should be amen. We are called to be like Christ, not like other Christians. We dont have to swear an oath. Our word should be good enough, just like God's word is good enough.

You can trust an unknown future to a know God. You can ask any real believer in Jesus Christ if is He is faithful and true and they will reply with a Yes and a testimony. People think we are crazy because they have no faith. I use to be that kind of person. But Jesus has shown me over and over and over and over and over that He is trust worthy.

When I came back to Jesus, I will never forget this, I prayed that He would take me back..and Erin and my kids too. I didn't want to loose them in this life and in the next life too.I am now married to an equally yoked blood washed wife. It cost me a lot to be Erin's husband, but she is worth it. My wife was also worth the price of the blood of the lamb. My kids aren't saved yet but I see the Lord working in them. I see Him drawing them to Himself. Lord willing, they will also be worth the blood of the lamb.

WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE YET!? If His promises are true and He is faithful, then that means hell and the enemy are real. Eternal suffering and separation from God's goodness forever. But that means if you ask for forgiveness of your sins and get baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit you will be forgiven and given eternal life.

Without any hesitation I boldly say YES that He has come through for me so many times. One billion times plus infinity YES! If you believe you can see Him working in the background. Not literally "see" Him, but you recognize that it was something only God could have made happen. Nothing is be coincidence when it comes to Jesus. He planned this out a long time ago. The bible says that He knew us before we were born.

When I have had those kinds of moments, I dont know how to react because I am over loaded with all kinds of emotions. My eyes are watering, my throat is all chocked up, snot starts coming out of my nose, I feel this need deep inside me and its being satisfied at the same time. But we must walk by faith, not by sight or feeling. Sometimes I dont feel anything but I still thank Him. Me feeling something and not feeling something when I recognize His handy work, doesn't mean it I shouldn't thank Him and praise Him for it. Life is hard. Its even harder without Jesus.

I say all of these things in confidence because after reading my bible and being taught by my sheep dogs (pastors, teachers, brothers) about all of Gods wonderful promises. In the words of Uncle Si, "You can take that to the bank Jack!" I do my part, Jesus handles the rest. When I do my part, God's promises are YES and AMEN because of Jesus. Glory Hallelujah!

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This one is for the backsliders

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!  I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’  So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
  “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.  For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. Luke 15:17-24

The backslider in heart will be filled with his own ways,
But a good man will be satisfied from above. - Proverbs 14:14

"When the prodigal son returned, what did he find his father to be like?
Irrespective of how the prodigal treated his father, and how the neighbors pitied him and said, “Oh, isn’t that a terrible way that boy treated his poor old father,” the father had not changed. His father was humiliated, shamed, grieved and heartbroken, but when the boy came back, he had not changed at all.
Jesus is saying to us, “You went away in Adam, but you are coming back in Christ. When you come back, you will find the Father has not changed. He is the same Father He was when you all went out—every man to his own way.” When we come back in Jesus Christ, we will find Him exactly the same as we left Him—unchanged.
That is the story of the prodigal son. The father ran, threw his arms around him, welcomed him, put a robe on him, a ring on his finger and said, “This is my son which was dead, and he is alive again.” This is the grace of God worth believing in.
Dear Father of all prodigals, of all generations, how thankful I am that the invitation to come home reached me just in time. How I praise Thee for the love Thou hast shown me, and others like me! I praise the name of Jesus. Amen" - A.W. Tozer

A backslider is a saved person who falls into sin. A lost sinner cannot be a backslider. You have to go somewhere before you can slide back. But one who is truly born again, a child of God who falls into sin, is a backslider. It may be outrageous and gross sin known to everyone, or it may be merely coldness of heart, a lukewarmness of heart instead of the burning fire of love for God. But when a Christian loses any of his joy, or loses part of his sweet fellowship with God, or falls into sin, then he is a backslider. Remember that only Christians can backslide.- Dr. John R. Rice


 I backslid away from God many years ago when I was a young teenager. When I was about 12 I gave my life to Christ. But my faith was choked out by peer pressure, shame, and I felt forced to go to church. I thought living a Godly life was too hard and committing sin was easier. So I walked away from God. 

When I joined the US Army in the summer of 1997 right after high school, I would tell myself that if I ever went to war, I would turn back to God. I may have gone to church willingly less than 10 times in the 11 years I served in the military. I was stationed in South Korea twice in my career and I was deployed to Iraq twice. Please, hold your applause because even my righteous acts are dirty rags in comparison to what Jesus did for all of us. 

So I was put in war zones 4 times in my career and I never turned my life over to Christ. If I would have died, I would have been eternally separated from God and spent it in hell. When I was in the army, I was very reckless. I was border line suicidal. I had no self control, I liked driving fast and I liked fast girls. I remember the last time I was in Iraq I wanted to end my life. My life was a mess. I was thousands of miles away from home, and I was very lonely. I thought I had a loving girlfriend waiting for me back home, but she didn't love me. I was crushed. I was issued a M249 automatic machine gun and we carried live ammo all the time, even on base. We were always armed. I was sitting on my bed one night alone and I loaded the machine gun and I turned it towards my head and I had my thumb on the trigger. But I found out something. I was a coward because it takes courage to take your own life. This is just one example of my stupidity. 

I got out of the service and I moved to Phoenix and I moved in with my new girlfriend, Erin. That was around August of 2006 when I left active duty. I thought I was going to start a brand new life with out the army. Well I did but it was not how I thought it would be. For the next 7 years I lived in a self made hell. Whats even worse was that I dragged my make shift family along with me in my sorrow. 

I recall one night I was up very late at night, alone. I was finally tired of being up late and searching for porn. I gave up my search because I had seen so much of it, nothing else excited me. Plus I was smoking this stuff called "spice". It is imitation/legal weed. The package even said it was bad to smoke. I got really high and instead of heading to bed, I sat down on my recliner. Then I started to feel tugging at my ankles and my hands. No one was there. Plus I felt like I was being pulled from the inside. I was being pulled towards to the computer. I was scared because I had never felt this before and I was very scared. I felt like something was covering my mouth because I tried to call for help but I couldn't say anything. I was on my recliner begin restrained I called out to Jesus. I kept calling out and I stopped feeling the tugging. Did I turn my life over? No. But after that, Jesus started to draw me back to Him. I began to see Jesus draw me back to Him. I realize it now, but back then I didn't know it.

In 2013 I finally gave my life to Christ. I didn't feel worthy. I had sinned so much. I made my life a mess. But my salvation didn't count on my performance and it still doesn't. There isn't enough donations, tithes, homeless people I could feed and acts of kindness I can do that will grant me salvation. Jesus is the only name given unto man to receive forgiveness from their sins and salvation from God's wrath. 

When I came back to Jesus, I felt a love like I had not felt ever. I was starving for Jesus and I was so desperate to be saved. I realized I was a sinner and I started to see the signs of the times. Things I had read about as a kid about the end times started to come about. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and I was terrified of the Lord. Plus the things that were going on in my life made me turn to Jesus. My point to all of this is, Jesus had every reason to forget about me. He could have let me go in my sin and let me die and I would have gone to hell. The end. 

BUT..in His goodness, because Jesus is full of grace and mercy, He drew me back to Him. I was like the prodigal son. Every time I read the parable I weep. God was talking about me and all the backsliders out there. I deserved death but Jesus gave me life and paid my ransom. The offer was still on the table and still valid. I was no fool, I took it. 

Now it is Him who lives through me. I am no longer a sinner because I am a blood washed believer in Jesus Christ. I have been justified and I am being sanctified. I have been brought back to life for the glory of God. Me, the weak one, the sinner, the womanizer, the show off..ME. Thank God I am not that man anymore. The old me is dead and He officially died when I was baptized on Cinco de Mayo 2013. Heaven isn't full of people who lived holy lives. Its full of sinners who were pardoned for their sins and were made holy by the one who is the most Holy. 


"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Foot steps in the sand

1 Corinthians 15:58 - Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Today at work I heard one of the top 10 nicest things I have ever been told. I needed to hear it. I will be honest, today kicked my butt. In a bad way. I was talking to a lady in Los Angeles. She was very nice and talkative. It was a Spanish call. I took her reservation for her trip to her doctors appointment. She talked to me about her ailments, her experiences with the cabs she has rode in while using our service. She was very appreciate it. It was about a 20 minute call. Which is very long time in call center time. Then she said just as we were ending the call, " I have to tell you something. There is a God who will repay for what you are doing right now." When I heard that I got chocked up. I could tears instantly welt up. My voice cracked a bit as I tried to reply. 

Later I needed a little time to regain my composure. I called my wife and talked to her for a little bit. Then I prayed. I had hit rock bottom. I was desperate for Jesus. I asked that He loved me, that would He help me get through the rest of the day. He did just that. Its like I became a machine and started pumping out calls, getting people home, taking reservations, sending out faxes. It was great to see Jesus pick me up. It kind of reminds me of the famous poem/song "Footsteps in the Sand". Takes me back when I was a kid when I was about 12. I had been going to a bible study at the martial arts school I was going to. Every last Friday of the month. We would have a potluck after wards. But I remember that "Footsteps in the Sand" song. One of the instructors fiance would sing it and she had such a nice voice. I remember also would always have a smile when he heard that woman sing that song. See, He even gave me a fond memory to help keep me going. Jesus is GREAT!!

I just want to tell you that you don't have to do life on your own. Jesus wants to help. You know, I wouldn't be talking all this "Christina talk" if it wasn't for real. Like many, I back slid away from the Lord when I became a teen. I spent most of my 20's and the beginning of my 30s with out Christ. But the Lord drew me back to Him. Some of you might say that I should have stayed with Jesus. But that wasn't the way He had planned it. I encourage you to run back to Christ. He will accept you. Also, don't be discouraged for your labors. If you dedicate them to the Lord, He will reward you in the next life. Anything we suffer in this life, does not compare to the glory of God the father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, the Angels, and Heaven. I hope this is encouraging to someone. 

By the way, its the night before battle (Ephesians 6:12). This weekend is the Arab American Festival in downtown Phoenix at Indian Steele Park. Me and some people from other various churches will be attending to reach out the Arab and Muslim community. Preach the gospel and show them the love of Christ. We will also have a photo booth. Please pray that the Lord's will would be done and that the Holy Spirit would come upon us with power. Please pray that the Spirit would speak through us and give us the words that need to be said. Pray for us that we would represent and shine the light of Christ to these people. Thank you and God bless. 

An email from the past me

James 1:1-27 - James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion: Greetings. Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Ephesians 4:14-15 - So that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,

 1 Corinthians 13:11 - When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

1 Corinthians 14:20 - Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.

I am so busy and distracted that I forget to check my email. I checked my email today and I got a very unique email. Last year I found a website http://ohlife.com/timecapsule and I wrote myself an email. The past me wasn't always good for my future self. I remember that I wanted to be good to my future self for once. I wrote this email on October 10, 2013. Check it out.

Dear Me (in the future), Its October 10, 2013, 830pm. A year has passed and think about how your life has changed in this year. Think about all your blessings. Think about all that God has done for you in this year. Praise the Lord if your still alive and reading this. Because he still loves you and His favor is on your life. I hope in this year you have gotten over your foolish fear about talking to people about the Gospel. If you haven't, you have let way too much time pass. Get over it! If you have, if there was a way I could be happy about that right now, I would be happy if you overcame that fear. Tell Jocelyn and Santino you love them and give them a big kiss. I hope you and Erin have gotten married by now or figured out where your relationship is headed. Keep praying. Keep in touch with Christ. Love, Past Me (Nick)

I had completely forgot I wrote this email. But I am glad I did. My life has changed a lot since then. I am married to Erin now. We get along better. We aren't perfect but we are a lot better at forgiving each other now. I dont work doing technical support. I serve sick people and I like doing that. I understand more of what God is trying to tell us in scripture. By the way, if anyone of my readers want to give me a gift, save your money. Because I would much rather you pray for me and ask the Lord to give me more wisdom, knowledge, understanding and discernment. Wisdom is so valuable. This past summer I read through Proverbs while I was out of work. That was a blessing. 

I also was involved with vacation bible school at my church this past June. Last winter, I was invited to take part in the Angel Tree Prison Fellowship program. We got to deliver presents to children on behalf of their parents who are currently in jail. A few weeks after I wrote that email, I helped my brother come to the Lord. I love it when my brother tells me how the Lord is using him and teaching him. I like to encourage him like I had been encouraged by my brothers at church. 

Erin, my wife, got baptized in February and I got to be the one who baptized her. What an honor! Me and Erin dedicated our children Jocelyn and Santino to the Lord. These are just some highlights from this past year. I am not bragging and saying "Look at home good of a Christian I am!!" No no no. Look at how good MY GOD is. He has been faithful to me and kept his promises. He took this broken man, this broken family and has begun to make it something beautiful and serviceable. To serve His glory. 

I really hope what I share encourages somebody to seek Jesus. To not settle to be a lukewarm believer. But to really go after Jesus hard. Share your faith. When times get hard, its time to draw closer to God. Run the race that He has placed out for you so at the end, you can have your great and exceedingly great reward and live for eternity with Jesus. All of our problems are temporary, Jesus is eternal and He has already overcome the world. I read the end of the bible and it says that Jesus wins and the devil and death are destroyed forever. 

Anyways, This email was a reminder to myself. To be happy I am alive and to be glad I was able to read that email one year later. That in that one year, Jesus has been molding me and working on me. Believe in Jesus. Read your bible (or listen to a sermon on podcast or you tube), and pray constantly.  Don't just settle for Sunday service and go the rest of the week with out reading your bible or praying. You are starving your spirit. Just some suggestions. These are things that have helped me out a lot. 

CHALLENGE
Write yourself an email and make it so your receive it in a year. Ask yourself how God has blessed you and remember how much your life has changed.  

 

Notes

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1

There is a bright blue note book that is in my bible carrier. I put verses, notes, thoughts and stories that I really liked or really made an impact in my life. I like looking back and reading them. Sometimes I cant make them out becaue I am writing so fast. I would like to share some that are special to me. I hope and pray that they inspire, encourage and enpower you, the reader, like they have to me. 

• LORD, help us to see ourselves the way You see us. By your spirit teach us to adorn our lives with the attitudes and actions you have designed for us as a public statement about our identity with you.
• Emotions are wonderful, but a horrible master. Our flesh lies to us, the word of God is the truth. 
• The gospel comes to those who know they dont have any business receiving it. Not to those who feel they deserve it. 
• When I struggle, the difference is that I walk with God.
• GOD, let Jesus touch my heart. Let your word come intimately into my heart.  
• Jesus has been waiting for us to stop trying, but to start trusting Him. 
• Sin is any attitude or action that denies God his rightful place in our lives. 
• Salvation is freedom!! 
• When the word of God makes sense, make no other sense. 
• Mark 16:19) When Jesus went to heaven, He didn't go there because He died. He went there because He is ALIVE.
• Loving like Jesus and doing His works will cost you work! You will be persecuted for the sake of Jesus. We are suppose to take the "bite". If you haven't been bit, you dont have stitches. - Stitches are proof you survived a bite.
• Many are willing to die for Christ but not many are willing to live for Christ. 
• Salvation doesn't produce immediate perfection, but a new direction. 
• Self reliant < God dependent