A message about forgivness in the mist of abuse

Ive been approached before by a wife of an abusive husband on more than one occasion or when I get on social media and come across a woman asking for prayer because her husband is a drunk and abusive. They explain whats been going on and I am saddened. I am sad because the husband isn't doing what his God given responsibility which it love his wife as the Lord Jesus loves the church and he is not the spiritual sacrificial leader of his family. Most people try to give their own words of encouragement and they pray for them. Which is nice but rarely is the word of God quoted. Or only certain verses are used because others might be too offensive. Well, not that I want to intentionally want to offend anyone, this is what the word of God says a wife should do when her husband isn't living according to the word of God. The word says in 1 Peter 3:1-5 "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands"

That abusive, alcoholic, no good husband of yours is a test of your faith and your obedience to God. If all you do is whine, complain and want to divorce your husband, you have failed that test because you are not doing what the Lord has said in the bible. The change in your husband may not happen right away but God is not slow to His promises. In 2 Peter 3:9 the word says "The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance." Yes, your husband has to repent for all he is doing, but you are not above reproach either. What do you need to repent of? Inspect yourself and stop playing the victim. Make sure you are right with the Lord and pray for your husband. Let God sort him out. This may also be a lesson in forgiveness from the Lord. Did you know that Jesus forgave you of ALL of your sins, including the ones that are extremely shameful and really bad? In Ephesians 4:32 God says "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."  In Matthew 6:15 Jesus said " But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." That should scare you. I know that scares me and its a challenge for me too. Pray to always walk in forgiveness.

And what if your husband is a repeat offender? In Matthew 18:21 the Bible says "Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times? Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." How many times and how quickly do you want to be forgiven of your sins by God? Quickly and many times. Extend the same kind of mercy and forgiveness to your undeserving husband. You didn't deserve mercy and forgiveness. None of us did. Its a gift from God so that no one can boast. Its not judgement what God wants, its mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. In Matthew 5:44 Jesus said the following "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust."

I know many wont like this message. That its not "Christ like". People nowadays want to find someone who will tell them its okay to leave their spouse and divorce them. That its okay to not reconcile with your spouse and forgive them. I find only one place in the bible where a man and woman can be divorced and the Lord permits it. In Matthew 5:32 Jesus said "But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery." Folks want someone to tell them its okay to harbor anger and resentment towards their spouse. I am here to tell you, I am not the one who will do that. I am the one who will tell you what God says. If you don't like it, your problem is not with me it is with the Lord. We were never promised an easy life on earth. If the Jesus you believe in and is preached about at your church lets you sin, doesn't command you to forgive the unforgivable, tells he wants you to have health, wealth and prosperity, then you are being taught a false version of Jesus. I suggest you find a real biblical church. I suggest you repent of your wicked ways. Acts 8:22 " Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you."

I want to share a story about a divorced couple. They use to be married and have now been divorced for a long time. The husband, had a problem with alcoholism. In fact he is still an alcoholic now. He was verbally and physically abusive to his wife. When they had children, the kids would have to witness their dad abuse their mom. He would come home drunk on holidays and ruin them. He would often get thrown into jail. His wife would have to pick up the slack and work because her husband would get fired from work. That is one side of the story. The wife, was not a forgiving woman and not a gentle and quiet soul as what wives are commanded to do. She would also get verbally abusive and hit her husband too. I don't condone their behavior. One might say the wife was defending herself. I agree but its still wrong according to the word of God. They have been divorced now over a decade. The ex husband went into hiding for a long time to avoid paying child support for the four children he had with this ex wife. He also remarried and divorced the new wife after a few months of being married over a petty reason. The ex wife never remarried but lives with a man who isn't her husband. When both have been asked about reconciling they both say no. Unless the ex husband is drunk, then he wants to get back with his ex. A Godless man is a destructive man. The kids are all grown up but they resent their parents, especially their dad. What happened in the past cant be changed but could have been avoided. But if they would just forgive one another the healing process within themselves would begin. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that you are condoning what they said or did. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that what they did was right. It just means that you are letting all the anger, bitterness and hurt go. Don't let anything take your joy. Its easier said than done, but it is doable. Let the healing in you begin.

Many will say my message is harsh and Ive already been told before that I must not like women. All lies straight from the pits of hell that try to discourage me and take my eyes off my Savior. I love men and women and I want to see them all get born again. Let me end with this as a reminder. 2 Timothy 4:2 "Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching." and 2 Timothy 3:16 "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness," I know my message won't sit well with some. I am prepared to lose readers and for possible harsh criticism. I am not here to please people because I am here to please God and to do what He says. I am not an ear tickler. Go find a Pastor who will tickle your ears but the bible warns us about those types. Don't take my word for it. Prayerfully ask the Lord to confirm to you what has been written. I want my readers to put their trust and faith in the Lord, not on me. I am the pen in the Lords hand.

This isn't the way I planned to start 2016 on my blog. This message started out as a small post on Facebook. The Lord kept inspiring me to keep writing. It got so long that I decided to post it on my blog. But I obey what God wants to do. In fact that is my resolution for 2016. To obey God. It is such a big deal to the Lord. I continue to ask my readers to pray for me, pray for this blog and my ministry. Thank you and may God bless you all.