Leadership that serves and sacrifices is Biblical leadership

So I just read an article (www.itsgoodtobeaman.com - Servant leadership transforms leadership into subservice) where they say that "servant leadership" is bad and how we are not supposed to be slaves. But I disagree. I do agree a man is ordained to lead his wife and family and the man is responsible for his wife and family. 

A man serves by leading and not only that, but leading by example. A man is supposed to lead by sacrificing time, energy, sweat, tears, and in only pursing God. A husband, in particular, must lead his wife spiritually. "Follow me as I follow Christ". 

It's Sacrificial PLUS Servant Leader. They go hand in hand  and to say that servant leadership is form of feminism and a method the culture is trying to emasculate Christian men, is incorrect. If we are to be Christ-like, then Jesus was the most masculine man ever and He was a sacrificial servant leader. 

Jesus said in Matthew 20:28 that He did NOT come to be served, but to SERVE and give His life for the random of many. Are we not supposed to follow the example of Jesus? Isn't the master greater than the servant? 

So yes to servant leadership, but you have to include sacrificial leadership also because Jesus sacrificed Himself and He served others. Jesus said that anybody who desires to follow Him, must deny themselves and follow Him. 

When Jesus carried His cross, He carried the cross to go die sacrificially and servantly. Jesus humbled Himself to the will of the Father so that His sacrifice would atone for our sins. By serving, He demonstrated that He is in fact, God in the flesh. 

We are to follow the lead of our Lord Jesus. This article I read was way off. Jesus said that the greatest among you shall be your SERVANT. Paul wrote that husband's should love their wife's as Jesus loves the church. Jesus serves the church and sacrificed Himself for the church as He leads the church.

Jesus and Paul referenced and used the term "bondservant" as a way to illustrate the way a follower should be like; a person who is bound in service for no wages. Husbands, we are called to sacrificial, bondservant like Christ. 

But somehow we are above that and we shouldn't be a servant leader because someone thinks it's demeaning? I would argue that it's a place of honor. Jesus washed the feet of His disciples in servitude and leadership. We should do the same! 

Sacrificial love hurts a lot because sacrificial love, loves BIG. It goes all in. It's the ultimate proof of love. Jesus said that the greatest love is one who gives his life for his friends. I am a friend of God. Are you? 

A Jesus who refuses to serve and doesn't call you to serve others like He did, is a false Jesus. A Jesus who doesn't call you to lead sacrificially as He did, is a false Jesus. A Jesus who refuses to sacrificially and servantly lead and doesn't call you to do both , is no Jesus anyone should follow. 

Divorce

God prefers reconciliation, mercy, love, forgiveness and healing. I encourage spouses to pray and ask the Lord if there is any way for reconciliation and healing in the marriage. The Lord's charge for marriages can be found in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 and it is written:

"But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife."

I believe the main problem with marriages that are on the brink of divorce is that the couple's priorities are wrong. In a Christian marriage, love for Christ is supposed to be paramount. In a Christian marriage on the brink of divorce, someone if not both have in some way lost their first love which should be Jesus Christ. But work, money, your spouse, your kids, etc now sits on the throne of our heart. 

To the men, what your wife desires the most from you is your undivided love and devotion. She wants to be the only woman in your life. She wants to be loved and protected by you. She wants to be able to trust you and not fear you. She wants to share her life with you. Yes, even if she doesn't show it, somewhere buried under that cold, hardened heart, is these desires. 

To the ladies, what your husband desires the most from you is your love and respect. Men feel loved when they are respected. I'm not saying to be a kiss up or worship the ground he walks on. But respect him because you love him. 

The solution is simple and will take practice. Not easy, but your marriage is so worth it. Husbands need to repent and love the Lord, then your wife. Wives repent and love the Lord, then love your husband. Love each other like the Lord has loved you. 

Husbands should be first in offering forgiveness and offering an apology. Follow the lead of the Lord. He first loved us. He initiated salvation. Even while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Christ came to serve, not to be served. 

Wives if you feel to first apologize or forgivness to your husband, I encourage you to do it. Throughout the gospels, Jesus was quick to forgive anyone who would ask for it. Even on the cross, Jesus prayed for His enemies and asked God to forgive them. Be the suitable helper for your husband and allow him to lead the home. But be there to help him. 

If you read this far, you must want to really know how to be divorced and not be in sin. Pray and test the spirit and ensure that what I am instructing is from God.

So if you are at a place where there are irreconcilable differences, there are 3 ways of divorcing and not being in sin according to the Bible: 

1) Death (Genesis 2:24, Romans 7:2-3)

2) Infidelity (Matthew 5:32, 19:9)

3) Abandonment (1 Corinthians 7:10-15)

Now, in regards to abuse, I personally haven't read anything about it in the Bible. But the Bible commands the husband to love his wife as Christ loves the church. The husband is supposed to love and nurture his wife like he loves and nurtures his own body. Christ doesn't abuse His bride and the bride doesn't abuse Christ. 

Malachi 2:16 - “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her', says the Lord, the God of Israel, 'covers his garment with violence', says the Lord of hosts. 'So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

Ladies, just because a man is not supposed to hit a woman, that doesn't mean you are allowed to do it. Everyone keep their hands to themselves unless it's to give a hug in forgivness.

The command is to do everything we do to the glory of God. The command is to love others as you love yourself. Abusing your spouse is not Christ like and not loving. 

Marriage is supposed to be a type and a foreshadow of the relationship between our Lord Jesus and the bride church. That we need Jesus to help us to achieve that what His Spirit can only achieve.

Keep your priorities clear & simple...

1: Jesus

2: Your spouse

3: Your kids & family

4: Everyone else

Note: I recommend looking up the 

"5 love languages" and take the quiz to find out each other's love language. For example, I found out that my love language is "words of affirmation". My wife's love language is "acts of service". So I know now that if I want to show my wife that I love her, I can do so by doing some chores or take her out on a nice date and she will understand that as an act of love. She knows now that I need to hear her encouraging words. 

Be a good receiver of salvation

Many people believe they have put their faith in Jesus. But they also believe they have to earn salvation. God's gift of salvation is free to us because it cost the life and blood of Jesus Christ.

Here’s the good news: when Jesus was hanging on that cross, dying to save you, he did not use his dying words to say, “Earn this.” Do you know what he said instead? He said, “It is finished!” The work was completed at the cross.

Did you catch that? It is finished! That means done, complete, sealed, finished! That’s God’s gift of grace. Jesus has done all the work already. Jesus fulfilled the law that God had required mankind to live and Jesus died the death that was required of mankind.

 You couldn’t possibly earn salvation even if you tried with everything you had. Another piece of good news is that God never expected you or I to earn His gift of salvation. We just need to receive His gift.