Go hard or dont go at all

Act 20:24 - But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

 Isaiah 40:28-31- Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary.His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

 "Just because I believe in God, just because I have faith in God, it doesn't mean that I'm immune. It doesn't mean that I'm immortal" - Ayrton Senna

Have you ever thought about quitting? I thought about quitting this past week. I wanted to quit going after my dream. I wanted to stop but God has other plans. Instead the Lord is showing me how He is powerful and He can use anybody He wishes for His purpose and for His glory. 

The other night I stayed up late and watched a documentary about formula race car legend Ayrton Senna. I had it on my Netflix playlist for a couple of months. I was bored so I finally watched it. I had put it off because I knew my wife wouldn't want to see the movie. So I had my chance and I was not prepared for what the Lord had in store.

See, Mr. Senna was a devout believer in our Lord. The Lord made way for this man. I could see God's handiwork in his life. The story was as if it came out of the bible. Even Senna's death had God written all over it. According to his sister Viviane, Senna had sought strength from the Bible on the morning of his death after the events of the race weekend: "On that final morning, he woke and opened his bible and read a text that he would receive the greatest gift of all, which was God himself." Later he died on the race track after hitting a concrete barrier at 145 miles per hour. After his death the FIA improved race track conditions, improved race car safety and for the time being, he has been the last death in F1 racing since Senna's death in 1994. One of the paramedics was interviewed and said that he himself was not religious but when Senna gave up his last breath, it was as if he could see his spirit leave his body. On the head stone of Ayrton Senna it reads "NOTHING CAN SEPARATE FROM THE LOVE OF GOD".  Amen to that.  I was in tears. God wasn't done though.

Sunday came and before the pastor read his sermon to us, one of the elders from the church got up on stage and talked about a member of our church who is very ill. The man was born with down syndrome. He was not expected to live past 12 years of age. But God had other plans. His name is Billy Ballard and he is now 53 years old. I had seen the man before around church. He is so kind. Always smiling.  I met his mother and she use to be a Sunday school teacher at the church I attend. She was very short and would talk about how the kids she use to teach are so much taller than her now. I would often see him walk his mom their vehicle and help her in. It is so wonderful to see that nowadays. Sad to say that it's a rare sight to see. It was a blessing to watch Billy love on people. Well Billy is sick and only the Lord knows if Billy will live longer here or the Lord will call him home with Him. But the elder shared stories how Billy didn't let his circumstances stop him from serving the Lord. I admire his servants heart and his love for the Lord. I am blown away how God could even use Billy Ballard's life to be a testimony of our Lord Jesus. In tears I thanked the Lord for what He showed me.

Whatever was left of pride and control I had was done away with. I was humbled because I was trying to do what only God can do. God could use a hot shot race car driver to make His name known and His agenda happen. A man who was young and healthy,  died young. But then on the other hand you have a man who was odds were against him but God strengthen him. God has plans for Billy and Billy's circumstances were not gong to stop God from using Him. The one who wasn't suppose to live very long, has lived half of a century. I believe that both of these men are equals. How? They both were used by God as a vessel. No matter how big or small the task, we are called to be faithful with what we have been given.I believe they both went after the Lord hard. 

I am very sure there many times in both of there life's they wanted to quit. But they didn't and found their strength in the Lord. I wanted to quit writing and sharing my faith online. I want to make this blog bigger, better and nicer. But it's not about what I want. I have been called to be faithful with what I have. No matter if the Lord would want to set a table in front of my enemies on a large scale or if it's writing on my blog and only a few people read it. Well it was worth it. If one person gets saved because of the writings in this blog, it was all worth it. I am guaranteed that Gods word will go out and not come back empty.  I do not labor in vain. 

I learned I have to go hard after Jesus or don't go at all. That is the bottom line. I know that I am not guaranteed an easy life and I will struggle. But I do not struggle alone because the Lord is always with me. Says so in the Bible and I believe that it is God's word. He is the one called faithful and true. He sure lives up to that and much more. I am learning to release more control to God and learning to trust Him. I have been told many times that I should be careful what I pray for because God might give it to me. Well, I asked to be more like Him and I believe my prayers are being answered. Yea I suffer and I fail but it will all be worth it when I come face to face with my Savior. Oh I long to hear Him tell me that I am good and faithful servant and that I can enter His joy.

The Lord wants somebody to know that you shouldn't give up. If you have fallen down, get back up. If you have sinned, repent and ask the Lord for forgiveness.  He is faithful and just to forgive the sins we confess to Him. Nothing can separate you from the love of God, expect sin. That is good news! I have failed so many times. But here I am, still going for it. God is still rooting for us when we fall. Get up and dust yourself off and keep going. All the struggles will be worth it at the end. God promised and all of Gods promises are YES and AMEN through His son. The finish line is in heaven and our exceedingly great reward awaits for us there and we will have Him always.

Go hard or don't go at all. Being called "hardcore" or being a "radical" believer in Jesus is suppose to be the norm. But we think that being that way is weird and uncomfortable. The bible says that the Lord will spit out the lukewarm because they are neither hot or cold. Go after Jesus or don't do it at all. If you go for Him it is guaranteed you will fail many times. You will fall. But God says GET UP AND KEEP GOING. All the struggles and pain will be worth it. His grace is sufficient.

Update: Billy Ballard went to be with the Lord on July 30,2016.