Divorce

God prefers reconciliation, mercy, love, forgiveness and healing. I encourage spouses to pray and ask the Lord if there is any way for reconciliation and healing in the marriage. The Lord's charge for marriages can be found in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 and it is written:

"But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife."

I believe the main problem with marriages that are on the brink of divorce is that the couple's priorities are wrong. In a Christian marriage, love for Christ is supposed to be paramount. In a Christian marriage on the brink of divorce, someone if not both have in some way lost their first love which should be Jesus Christ. But work, money, your spouse, your kids, etc now sits on the throne of our heart. 

To the men, what your wife desires the most from you is your undivided love and devotion. She wants to be the only woman in your life. She wants to be loved and protected by you. She wants to be able to trust you and not fear you. She wants to share her life with you. Yes, even if she doesn't show it, somewhere buried under that cold, hardened heart, is these desires. 

To the ladies, what your husband desires the most from you is your love and respect. Men feel loved when they are respected. I'm not saying to be a kiss up or worship the ground he walks on. But respect him because you love him. 

The solution is simple and will take practice. Not easy, but your marriage is so worth it. Husbands need to repent and love the Lord, then your wife. Wives repent and love the Lord, then love your husband. Love each other like the Lord has loved you. 

Husbands should be first in offering forgiveness and offering an apology. Follow the lead of the Lord. He first loved us. He initiated salvation. Even while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Christ came to serve, not to be served. 

Wives if you feel to first apologize or forgivness to your husband, I encourage you to do it. Throughout the gospels, Jesus was quick to forgive anyone who would ask for it. Even on the cross, Jesus prayed for His enemies and asked God to forgive them. Be the suitable helper for your husband and allow him to lead the home. But be there to help him. 

If you read this far, you must want to really know how to be divorced and not be in sin. Pray and test the spirit and ensure that what I am instructing is from God.

So if you are at a place where there are irreconcilable differences, there are 3 ways of divorcing and not being in sin according to the Bible: 

1) Death (Genesis 2:24, Romans 7:2-3)

2) Infidelity (Matthew 5:32, 19:9)

3) Abandonment (1 Corinthians 7:10-15)

Now, in regards to abuse, I personally haven't read anything about it in the Bible. But the Bible commands the husband to love his wife as Christ loves the church. The husband is supposed to love and nurture his wife like he loves and nurtures his own body. Christ doesn't abuse His bride and the bride doesn't abuse Christ. 

Malachi 2:16 - “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her', says the Lord, the God of Israel, 'covers his garment with violence', says the Lord of hosts. 'So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

Ladies, just because a man is not supposed to hit a woman, that doesn't mean you are allowed to do it. Everyone keep their hands to themselves unless it's to give a hug in forgivness.

The command is to do everything we do to the glory of God. The command is to love others as you love yourself. Abusing your spouse is not Christ like and not loving. 

Marriage is supposed to be a type and a foreshadow of the relationship between our Lord Jesus and the bride church. That we need Jesus to help us to achieve that what His Spirit can only achieve.

Keep your priorities clear & simple...

1: Jesus

2: Your spouse

3: Your kids & family

4: Everyone else

Note: I recommend looking up the 

"5 love languages" and take the quiz to find out each other's love language. For example, I found out that my love language is "words of affirmation". My wife's love language is "acts of service". So I know now that if I want to show my wife that I love her, I can do so by doing some chores or take her out on a nice date and she will understand that as an act of love. She knows now that I need to hear her encouraging words.